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Where Have I Been?

For the past couple of weeks it's felt like I fell off the face of the earth and to be quite honest I feel as if i'm still lost. Just before my birthday in late November I faced a huge betrayal which I never saw coming, it was a huge smack in the face and a major knock back in my well being and mental health and since then I've been struggling with the simplest of tasks and every day life.

With a new year waiting right around the corner for us it's hard not to think about the future and the changes we need to make in hopes it'll improve our lives and when I say 'we' I actually mean me with some sort of hope that it's not just me thinking about it and having no real expectation of what's going to happen.

Since relaunching my blog I slunk into the habit of blogging for others and not myself even though I've always advised people to blog for themselves instead of their readers. I wasn't taking my own advice. Ignoring what I knew was right made me burn out quicker than I thought was possible, my blogging ties had came undone and I felt disconnected and hollow towards my content and it drew me away for a while; now that's something that really needs taking care of besides myself.

I've been thinking a lot whilst I've been away about myself as a person, who I want to be instead of who I am and I've came to terms with the fact that my whole life depends on what happens now instead of what happens then. I need to stop putting off all the things I want to do, I need to stop saying tomorrow and do it today but breaking that habit will be easier said than done.

There's so many things I want to change about myself and my life as a whole, I'll talk about them in another post because this one is already getting quite lengthy and I feel like I have a whole lot more to explain before I get to the big picture. I set out with hopes and dreams that may be possible one day in the future but there is no way I will live those dreams if I don't make changes now and the first change I'm going to make is to stop forcing myself to be someone or something I'm not. 

At the beginning of this new chapter my blog will be different from now on. My blog is my hobby, not work and I don't make any money blogging at all so I'm ditching the schedules and the planned posts, I'm going to stop with the continuos tweets and post promotions and stick to 1 or 2 every other day, I'm not going to be playing by the blog rules handbook and make my own damn rules. This will now be my journal, Jem's Journal and I'm excited to set on a new adventure. I hope you'll join me on the journey.

Until next time my lovelies! 

1 comment

  1. Good luck with your journey - I think it is so important to blog for yourself and no one else. Otherwise, what is the point? x www.aimeeraindropwrites.co.uk x